Monthly Archives: April 2013

22 Apr

Found out what they were up to today with the jets and all.

Appears there is a school of thought that even when the Slovs all end up dying of hunger, the virus still lives in the body for ages afterwards. The cleanup would be hazardous and there is a risk of another outbreak if anything goes wrong. The decision was to fire-bomb any place with a population over ten thousand. Those jets I saw the other day were on a napalm run to a nearby town. Sure glad I was out in the sticks when they came over otherwise I’d be picking my fried butt off the ground with a spatchula.

All I can think about is my poor wife. At least the last time I saw her was when she was getting sick. I never got to see her after she had come back again. I hope she died quickly and painlessly.

Somebody in the barrack had a coughing fit in the night last night. After everybody freaked out and went running from the building, the army guys held him at gun point until the tests concluded it was just a smoking cough. Turns out while I loaded up with jewellery, he had the thought that cigarettes would become so rare that the addicts would pay whatever they owned to buy them from him. Think he smoked a fair whack of his own profits the way he hacked and spluttered his way through the night.

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Posted by on 22 April in Zombie Philes


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21 Apr

Turns out it’s like this the world over. There’s only a few places left untouched by this disease, remote, desolate places. At least that’s what the soldiers told me.

Took them completely by surprise when I rocked up in my army truck, laden down with stolen jewellery. They didn’t know whether to shoot or celebrate that somebody had made it out of London still un-infected. They ran all sorts of tests on me before declaring me healthy. Well, malnourished and a few bumps and bruises from various encounters, but at least without super-flu coursing through my veins.

The air force base just north of Brighton has been fortified and surrounded by army patrols. It was one of the patrols that picked me up a few miles out and put me through the wringer. They took their truck back off me and I don’t know what they did will all my loot, but I’m sure they’ve squirreled that away somewhere for themselves.

Right now I’m chilling out in a set of barracks they’ve set aside for the handful of healthies they’ve picked up in their travels. Fine if you like the colour green and dossing with a bunch of strangers. First relaxed sleep I’ve had in a while last night. Finally I feel safe with somebody else in charge of keeping the snotties at bay.

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Posted by on 21 April in Zombie Philes


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16 Apr

Saw my first plane today, well planes, well jets actually. I don’t know much about military hardware, but they were damn loud and going at a fair clip northwards.

I had pulled over and was taking a slash by the side of the road, so they wouldn’t have noticed a truck still driving along, so obviously would have no idea that I was still well enough to know how to operate a vehicle.

Anyway, they shot over in one hell of a hurry. At least that confirms there is still life out there somewhere. And also that I’m heading in the right direction.

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Posted by on 16 April in Zombie Philes


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13 Apr

Can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!

See, this holocaust, that’s what I’m calling it anyway, can’t last forever can it? So the snotty Slovs are dying of hunger, and that means that the un-sick, those that are still OK like me, will come out of hiding again and clean up the mess and carry on like we were before. Well, almost like before. There’ll be a shed load less of us to get on with things. Hey, perhaps that means repopulating the planet.

Oh, my wife.

Anyway, that idea I had: well, when things are back to normal again, it’ll end up like it was before with the haves and have-nothings. The fat cats at the top screwing the little guy like me again. OK, so how does one make sure they keep up with the rich and famous? Now cash will be out, and a whole new finance system will need to be set up again. Initially food and clean water will be the key assets to have, but eventually luxury goods will start making a comeback, and when they do, I should be the main supplier.

So I stopped over in a small township in the middle of nowhere and found what I was after. There were a couple of emaciated Slovs lurching about the street, but they were too lethargic to bother me so I didn’t bother them. I backed my truck right up to the window and through it. I spent the next half hour loading up the back tray of the truck with all the gold and sparkly stones I could lay my hands on from the jewellers. I suppose looting was still a shooting offence, but those cowardly military have all scurried down some rabbit hole someplace and I haven’t seen them since. I intend loading up the truck and finding a hiding place for it all. When the world sorts this mess out again, I’ll be at the centre of the jewellery trade and able to make a load of money.

It’s only been 14 or 15 weeks since this all kicked off now. How long would it take to get things back on track again before my ill gotten gains started making me a wealthy man?


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Posted by on 13 April in Zombie Philes


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5 Apr

Can’t believe it’s taken me almost a month to hit the countryside.

Was pretty convinced I’d find the army had cordoned off the M25 ring road around London to block everybody in, but found they hadn’t even set up roadblocks that far out of the city. I now know why though.

What they would have been blocking in London was exactly the same as what was going on outside the city too. You see, nowhere has been spared. Seems every township I come across out here is crawling with the sick. They seem pretty sluggish and slow out here. At first I thought it was a different strain of the sickness or perhaps they were the opposite – even more sick than those in the CBD. It wasn’t until I saw a dead one lying next to the road that I realised what was going on.

The corpse by the roadside was almost skeleton thin. The gaunt face, like a film of skin barely covering the skull. Lips drawn back in a forced grin – receded black gums making the bared teeth look longer. The sunken and hollow eyes staring up at the gray sky. Even the birds and woodland creatures I would have expected to have a nibble on it had left it alone. Either staying away from the sickness or too little meat left on it to bother. Out here in the countryside there is less to eat you see. At least in the city there was still quite a bit of food around to munch on, even the odd healthy person running around with all that edible flesh about their frame. Out here, unless you can chase down a cow or something, you’re left with grass or a tree to eat, and there isn’t much to keep you going in a paddock for the human body.

Long and short: they’re starting to starve to death. Why did I have to leave my wife in the bedroom unable to open the door? At least if she was able to get out and find something (or somebody?) to eat she might last a bit longer. Oh grief, what a way to go.

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Posted by on 5 April in Zombie Philes


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2 Apr

Did I say a tank the other day? Well I got hold of something nearly as good.

Found an abandoned army truck with the keys still in it. The army guy, presumably the guy who was supposed to drive it back to wherever they buggered off to, was still limping around. Seems he must have got himself bitten and the others had left him behind. He must have been all of about 18 years old if that. Uniform looked too big for him. Blood down his right leg. Snot crusted up all over his face.

I jumped in his truck and abandoned him too. Left him just like his mates had.

Anyway, I’ve got this big ol’ diesel truck. The tires are about five feet high and this thing rolls over those road blocks like speed bumps. Seat’s a bit more comfortable than the BMW’s one too with no springs up my crack, but nowhere near as quiet. Still, got myself a decent set of wheels now and really making progress.

Even mowed down a Slov that walked out in front of me. Darn idiot just stepped out and got a face full of grill. Truck barely noticed the bump and in the rear view mirrors I could see he stayed down too. Not that long ago that would have freaked the hell out of me. Today, it actually felt kind of good.

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Posted by on 2 April in Zombie Philes


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