Monthly Archives: May 2014

30th May

The Doc was pretty pleased with himself when he read the results of our little field trial. He went off muttering away to himself like a mad professor, so Adam and I went our own way in search of something to eat that wasn’t several years old and preserved only due to the fact that it was pure sugar.

Back outside again, the fresh air was nice, the cool morning air was still and a thick veil of mist covered the ground to ankle height. The only sound was the mournful craw of a nearby crow. Adam and I jumped the fence and scavenged in the nearby fields. A couple of dopey wanderers were quickly dispatched silently and even they couldn’t put a dampener on the peaceful start to the day.

We got back to the lab again with a bag of mushrooms, some wild fennel which grows like a weed, and a handful of spindly carrots that had self-sown in somebody’s old garden. The Doc was still buzzing around all excitable, in his own little world, so Adam and I fired up a Bunsen burner and got to frying up our breakfast. It wasn’t until the Doc flitted past us with armloads of beakers and boxes that he stopped dead in his tracks, took a sniff of the air and looked over to see what the great smell was. We went thirds in our meagre breakfast, but even that was a gazillion times better than a stale chocolate bar.

The Doc took the time over breakfast to discuss his thinking. There was good news and bad, and multiple of each it turned out.

The Good News was that the Doc knew what the issues were with his failed experiments and believed there were ways to improve on them. Making non-lethal body shots into lethal ones.
The Bad News was that, whilst the storeroom in the basement was chocka full of all the ingredients that he needed for his improved bullets, there were only so many bullets left that he had scavenged from the security guards and from their wing of the building.
The Good News was that a few clicks up the road was a military training outfit which had been long since overrun and was bound to have plenty of what the Doc was in short supply of.
The Bad News was, muggins here and his little Boy Wonder were the only two of the three Living in the entire building capable of making it back from a mission like that.

I’ve never been a fan of Bad News.

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Posted by on 30 May in Zombie Philes


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27th May

This is written for the Doc based on my findings of how his inventions went.

So Adam and I went a few miles away from the lab and found a nice quiet field to do some practice in. The fences are in pretty good nick around this field, and I started off by letting Adam fire off a few rounds with his 9mm. Thanks to all the guns and ammo you found in the security guy’s area Doc, we won’t run short very soon.

Needless to say, within a half hour or so there was a good gathering of snotties around the fence line, drawn by the sound of Adam’s target practice.

The first order of business was to trial the tasers you found in the security wing Doc. This bright yellow thing shaped to look like a pistol fires three pointy prongs out, each trailed by a very thin coil of wire. When the prongs hit something (or an ex-somebody in this case) they stick in, and pulling on the trigger delivers a good 20,000 (or was it 40 thousand Doc?) volts down the wires into the slov.

The result Doc is that the zombie stands there and spasms a bit, but it doesn’t really do a lot more than that. I held my finger on the trigger for a good few minutes before the battery ran dead, but the zom just quaked about for a while and then came back slathering at us.

So that’s Test One a failure.

Next you told us to give the new bullets a try out. With the snotties stuck on the other side of the fence from us, this was something I’d give Adam a go with, as you asked for us to aim at their bodies instead of the head this time.

The bullets you marked with a blue dot were first up. Adam popped a guy in the thigh, but I think it just went right through. It blew a big chunk out of his leg though and he fell over. Looks like his football days are over. I told Adam to go for a wider bit of the body and this time he clocked one in the chest. It stood there for a bit and then we heard a whistling sound as steam started coming out of the hole! We both tried a few more shots to other parts of the body with much the same effect – i.e. a hole with a jet of steam. Only a headshot was effective in putting them down.

I think you said the blue dot bullets were hollow nose bullets filled with hydrogen peroxide and methanol? The result was a steamy hole, but not much more.

The third, and final test for the day were your green dot bullets. Much the same as the last test, these are hollow points with a brew of hydrogen peroxide again, but with salt and vinegar. Sounds like we’re giving them crisp flavoured bullets as an appetiser, but we’ll give it a go.

Adam popped one into the chest of an old lady. Much like the ones we turned into boiling kettles earlier, this one just staggered from the impact then came right back to the fence again wanting to get at us. About 30 seconds later, Adam was lining up another shot when I told him to hold on a minute. The chest of the woman he shot seemed to be caving in. After a few seconds, some black ooze came bubbling out of the hole and dribbled down as her whole chest just collapsed and she ended up flopping to the ground.

We tried a few more shots each, getting a bit more distance from the fence so the bullets would stay in the zoms rather than pass right though. It appears that the green dots take between 30 to 90 seconds to react (not all of them did though) before a very strong acid starts eating away at the snottie’s flesh. This doesn’t kill them as the head is still untouched, and the acid stops working after a minute or so.

Not a total failure if you’ve got time on your hands to wait for the reaction, and aren’t too bothered about then still remaining snappy afterwards.

We’ll head back in now and hope you answer the door this time!

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Posted by on 27 May in Zombie Philes


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25th May

This guy is a freak show, but I’ve learnt so much about the zombies. I’ll try to summarise:

This is a chemical laboratory, so everything that Doc came up with is purely based on theory, a very well educated theory, but nothing solid. His best guess is that this plague is from something natural, not man-made. If it were man-made, there would be a vaccine readily available. When the government spooks concocted nasty viruses and things, they also made the matching vaccine too, in case they needed to make sure all the important people wouldn’t get affected. So that’s theory one.

His next theory is that this virus attacks the brain. Once the host body is taken over, it shuts down all unnecessary functions to ensure its own survival for as long as possible, hence only a head shot is effective in stopping them for good. A virus only wants two things: to survive, and to multiply. To do this its host must remain alive as long as possible, and it needs to find other living hosts to infect.

Doc had been studying slovs for as long as the outbreak had been going. The above are only his theories, the other stuff he’s been doing is the real reason the guy is such a freakshow.

Not knowing much about virology or even biology for that matter, he turned to the thing he knows best – chemistry. His lab is like a full blown evil genius’s lair, complete with bunsen burners and vials of bubbling liquids.

Knowing that there is no hope of a cure, well, from his own lab anyway, Doc has been working on weapons-of-slov-destruction. He has tried fire, acids, explosives, poisons and whilst not his realm of expertise, had even rigged up some laser of some kind to try out. All of these had mixed results, but he had settled on a number of key items he was now ready to move on to field trials of.

This is where I came in. It appeared that my timing couldn’t have been better. As a survivor of the outside world, Doc needed me to go out into the field and trial his new inventions, and report back on my findings.

Adam and I are going to hang out for a couple of days first and build up our strength. In the meantime Doc will show me his new toys and teach me about their use, and inherent dangers.

Happy to do my bit if it makes Adam’s any my world a safer place.

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Posted by on 25 May in Zombie Philes


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23rd May

The building has been running on energy provided by a nearby wind farm. Seems that although their business is based on poisoning the planet with their chemicals, they made everything all right again by using renewable energy. On the up side, this meant that as long as power usage was kept low the place had continuous power. The building would have drawn off from the main grid when power usage went above what the wind farm generated, but with the grid now non-existent, Doc had to limit his power use to just what the wind farm could produce.

Adam and I left the Doc downstairs as we deployed our usual building clearing tactics. Adam watches my back as we methodically go room to room checking for snotties.

I like to take a quiet look into a room in case there are lots of them first. If not, I knock on something (door, wall, back of a zombie head) to get their attention, and as they shuffle over, I dispatch them with ol’ rusty trusty – my machete.

Adam watches my back and in the corners in case I miss anything. He has his gun now, but that is a last resort as we want to ninja our way around. Too much noise will get them lurching towards us from all over the place so we take it carefully.

The zoms here are all dressed in their suits, or in some cases, white lab coats. They’ve been locked in here for some time so they are pretty lethargic and gaunt. They don’t take a lot of killing. I pile them up in the hallways ready for getting rid of them later on. They’re very light, being not much more than bones with a leathery layer of skin stretched over them.

We spent most of today clearing out the 4 floors above ground level. Doc was relieved when we came back unscathed and no worse for wear.

I think he’s been fairly happy in his solitude all this time, but just too terrified to take on the mission we just went on.

As thanks he wanted to show us what he’s been up to for the past few years, but we were both pretty shattered after our day of slaughter. It’s pretty sapping running on non-stop adrenaline for hours on end. We hoovered a few snack bars from a vending machine upstairs and settled in for the night. I promised Doc we’d see what he’d been doing in here tomorrow.

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Posted by on 23 May in Zombie Philes


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22nd May

We started the morning getting our heads back in anti-zombie mode. We’d spent the last few days locked behind huge walls with iron gates and wanted to ensure we were back on our ‘A’ game again before heading out for food.

I let Adam squeeze off a few shots at an empty paint can I set up on a wooden ledge to get his eye in.

The shots must have been heard from inside, because I saw a weasley face poke around the side of the door that I swear I saw somebody come out of a few days ago. I rushed over and he slammed the door again in fright. I know I look a bit of a mess, but this was unexpected.

A minute later the door tentatively opened again. Adam and I were just standing there waiting expectantly.

We call him the Doc. I know he insists he isn’t one and is just a junior lab assistant, but he’s the closest thing to an educated person we’ve seen for some time.

The building is used for studying chemicals. You know, pesticides, petroleum products, sanitisers, stuff like that. It’s not the lab we’re looking for, but it is something.

The Doc has been living off junk food from the vending machines around the floors of the building. It was evident from the candy wrappers and chip packets littering his work area. He was complaining that he hadn’t eaten for a few days because he had run out of coins for the vending machines and didn’t know what he was going to do. I put the butt of my machete through the glass frontage of a machine and threw a few packets at him. The poor sod hadn’t even considered smashing the thing.

He told us that most of his colleagues had stopped coming into work in the first few days of the outbreak all those years back. He was only at work because he was so diligent and didn’t want to lose his job. He was straight out of university and this was his first job. Of the others that did come into work, none were left, well, in a Living capacity anyway. One of the guys had got bit, but still came into work. When he turned, he took the rest of the staff out with him. The Doc only survived because he locked all the doors to his empty floor.

Although he had the run of the ground floor and basement, the rest of the building was overrun, and there was vital stuff he needed on the other floors.

Adam and I were just happy to be inside out of the rain, and have some food. I told the Doc that if he’d let us hang here for a bit, Adam and I could clear out the rest of the building for him, and he seemed pretty happy with that.

We’re bunking down in an empty office tonight. Tomorrow we’ll case the rest of the place and see if we can’t get Doc access to more vending machines.

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Posted by on 22 May in Zombie Philes


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21st May

Several days on now and we’re running out of food. Water isn’t a problem as we catch what runs off the roof of this tiny tin shed where holed up in.

The boredom is also a killer. Adam is wondering why we’re spending so much time here. I’m starting to wonder the same thing myself. This doesn’t look like the lab we’re looking for, it’s just a very well secured office building. I’m even starting to doubt whether I even saw some guy outside the building.

Studying the piles up corpses outside the door shows nothing untoward, other than a sizeable hole in each ones head. They just look like every other rotting corpse on this messed up planet.

If there’s no sign of life tomorrow we’ll have to hit the road again to find some supplies. Not only is lack of food getting to us, as I mentioned, the boredom is driving us both nuts.

Adam has read everything I’ve scavenged and brought with us a billion times. We’ve run around and around the building playing games and getting wet and muddy – anything to keep active.

That kid has too much energy for such a malnourished tyke.

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Posted by on 21 May in Zombie Philes


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20th May

We’ve been camping out in this shed for a few days now. This damn rain keeps on coming – and here I was thinking this was supposed to be Spring!

Patrolling around I’ve found that this entire place is walled off, and with that huge gate out front we’re pretty secure.

I’ve cased out the building and it’s buttoned down good and tight. No way in unless those inside want to let you in. I’ve been hammering on that door, and the metal barriers over the windows, off and on for ages but no answer.

Basically the building is a single-storey, modern-looking thing. I’ve never seen anything like these metal roller doors covering the windows, except at high-end jewellery stores and the likes. It’s damn Fort Knox.

So Adam and I just hang out. We’ve grabbed a couple of simple books along the way on our adventures for him to have a go at and read them most nights before sleep. We’re running low on food again, so I might take a run to see if I can find a store or something, but from memory they’re miles away. This is a safe spot to leave Adam if I go on my own, but what will happen to Adam if I can’t make it back?

I’m starting to doubt I actually saw a person, but I’m positive I did. Why won’t the fecker answer our knocking? Surely he/she doesn’t think that the snotties know how to knock on a door and shout.

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Posted by on 20 May in Zombie Philes


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